Two Different Worlds
by RuizuSakuRa
Summary: Maybe we were bound by destiny,But With the flow of events. Everything seems to be out of place, Even me, Who's the fake lover can't help but feel like there's a wall seperating me from him. Maybe. Just maybe, We may live in different worlds after all.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Confession**

I sat at the end of the bed looking dazed at the diary that lied on top of my desk. Sighing, I lay down on my bed.

Hugging my pillow, I curl up into a ball formation. "Stupid Ichijou..., Aren't you aware of how I feel?"

Memories of him with Onodera pop into my head. The way he looked at her, the way he treated her differently, The way he spoke to her-it was sweet...Compared to mine, were just acting out as fake lovers, nothing special.

Wet droplets of liquid fall u to my cheeks. What is this? Am I crying?

No..No, I'm not crying, hehehe. My eye's are just sweaty...

"Wahhh! Stupid Ichijou!" I pouted.

"I'm going to sleep!"

Positioning my self on the upper part of the bed, I curl up once again, Tears falling as I thought of the newest member to the selecion-Marika. I may not have a chance after all...

* * *

Walking towards our classroom, I bump into the person I don't want to see;Raku Ichijou.

Hiding the blush that was making it's way to my face, I quickly avoided him, walking as fast as I could to reach our classroom.

"Kiri-Darling!" He blurted out as he noticed our other classmates walking.

I kept still in that moment, but then thought that was really stupid. Determined, I walked faster towards our classroom.

"Damn this..." I mumbled as I entered the room, all eyes fixated on me.

"Eh, Kirisaki-san. Where's Ichijou-kun? Don't you usually enter the classroom together?"

I gave them a nervous smile that almost looked like a constipated fake smile. "Umm, I decided to go to school very early today so me and da-darling didn't come here together..."

They nodded and shrugged it off, continuing with their own topics.

I sat down and buried my face to the desk.

"Ohayo da-darling~"

Damn it, stop doing that Ichijou, You're gonna make my heart burst..., As If I'd say that. "O-oh! Good morning da-daa-darling..."

I went back on burying face to the desk, trying to avoid him as much as possible.

"Good morning, Ichijou-kun!"

"A-ah, Good morning too o-Onodera san!"

I felt my ear grow big, like those that happen in the cartoons when the character is eaves-dropping.

This guy, what are you stuttering for!? I hate this.

The teacher entered the room and the class began and ended without me saying anything to Raku.

* * *

I was fixing my things so that I can go home early and avoid him. But again, things didn't go as I had planned.

"Chitoge, why are you avoiding me?" Raku questioned as I fixed my items.

I pretended that I wasn't hearing him and proceeded on leaving when he grabbed my wrist so I can face him.

"What's wrong with you!? You know the fact that I'm your boyfri-

I cut him off."Stop saying that! We aren't '_really_' in a relationship, So stop making me expect..."

"What are you talking about Chitoge!?" He answered back furiously.

I was so sick of it, so sick.

Clenching my fist, I controlled the urge to beat the crap out of him and instead say something that I would regret on saying.

"Raku don't you get it? I'm in love with you damn it!" I screamed at him, my face reddish from the humiliating confession.

"Chitoge..., I-"

I walked away not letting him finish.

Well that was a great confession. Great Chitoge, you ruined everything. Argh! Damn this! Damn it all!

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Hurt**

A day has passed since that epic fail of a confession, And what's worst is that I don't know how to face him.

I fixed my red ribbon my hands shaking as I looked at myself in the mirror. Ugh.

Grabbing my bag I head off to go to school.

* * *

I observed students filling in. I just can't do this, I should I have just stayed at home!

Stealthy I crept towards our classroom, hoping that I wouldn't run into him...

Opening the sliding door, biggest surprise. There he was in front of me, looking at me with the same expression I have(probably) plastered on my face.

I ignored him and walked inside, ignoring everyone.

Sitting down, I began thinking about what would've happen if I let him finish talking.

Romantic images were popping into my head one by one, "Arghh! I hate this life!"

I noticed that everyone was looking at me weirdly. Yeah just great. I really hate this, Heck I'm already out of character now. Really great. I love this.

Sitting down(once again)Ichijou-who I was still avoiding sat beside me. And soon the teacher went in And the class went on without me talking to him.

* * *

This time I did it right, being able to leave our classroom early.

I'm such a genius! Hmm maybe I should ask Tsugumi to go with me to the mall? Yeah I should do that. I need a break from this series of misfortune. I smiled as I punched my fist to the air enthusiastically.

Fumbling through my bag I realize that my phone wasn't in there. What a mood wrecker. I frowned.

This day's been great, I see the guy I'm avoiding first in the morning, I get embarrassed in front of the whole class, and now I forget my phone on my desk! What's next? Me seeing Ichijou confess to somebody? Stomping my foot, I made my way towards our classroom, noticing that there was someone inside.

I'm seriously gonna die early with this drastic chan-

"Ichijo, Don't you think Chitoge-chan is acting weird?"

This voice. Kosaki-chan?

"I know, it's because...it's because she told me she was in love with me."

I could hear Kosaki-chan gasping softly.

"I-i see! So w-what did you answer...back?"

Why does she sound like she's almost on the verge of tears? I asked myself. What's going on?

"E-eh... I didn't actually answer back. But I-I don't know, I can't understand my feelings towards her. Besides..."

I was shocked, so he didn't feel that way about me...he didn't like me back. I stood straight yet trembling at the sudden news.

"Be-besides what. Ichijou-kun?"

Falling to the ground as I couldn't take it at all, I curled up into a ball. Stupid me, Why did I even expect? Just because I have a key as well doesn't mean I've got a chance to make him fall for me right? Besides, I know he hates my guts. Deep down inside.

It was awhile before he answered back. For me it felt like centuries as I waited for that continuation.

And a minute passed and I heard it loud and clear.

I felt my heart being crushed to pieces, Tears fell as I wiped it frantically.

The words he had said kept replaying in my mind as my tears fall nons-stop. I can't take this any more, please just stop talking! Please...

_"Be-Besides! I'm in love with you!"_

There was no chance for me at all despite having a key, because from the start. Kosaki was taking the lead. Stupid me.

I used all my strength to stand up without a noise.

And so I walked away for the second time.

But before I was far from the classroom I heard something more heart-breaking. And it felt like I just died- that how much I tried my best for him to notice him. In the end it was futile- It was just useless...

"I-I love you too! Ichijou-kun, From the very beginning!"

I wanted to scream at how unfair it was. But I just couldn't she was my friend. I should be happy for her, Not like this. I shouldn't be hating her. Why can't I be happy for them!?

And I continued on walking away, occasionally wiping the tears every now and then.

I tried to smile a little but it all turned into a sad frown.

I guess I'll try to be happy for them! That's right! That's what friend's do right?

Placing my hand on my aching chest, I thought to myself.

But that's not what I want to do...deep inside. I'm not even convinced myself about 'being happy for them' Then what about me? Do I deserve to suffer?

And so I went home again just like yesterday. Eyes swollen. Heart-broken.

**To be continued...**

**A/N**

**Sorry if it's short TT_TT Wahhhh I feel sorry for Chitoge TT^TT I'm a bad author... Anyways, The next chapter is still a sad one :( ready your tissues ;-; please correct my grammar if I'm wrong because I appreciate opinions on how to make my fanfiction better ^_^ RxR please :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Alone**

I forced myself to put on a smile as I was about to enter our classroom.

Ok, 1...2...3! "Ohayo Minna!" I greet with a obvious fake smile.

They answered back happily, it looked like they didn't notice either way.

I sat down my chair and nervously greeted Ichijou.

"G-good morning darling!" I greeted in a nervous tone with another fake smile.

He didn't look at me and just nodded.

It crushed me deep inside. How could he act like that? Just because now he won Kosaki's heart he'll start avoiding me?

I could feel my eyes getting wet, I pulled myself and walked towards the door only to be stopped by our classmates.

"Kirisaki-san Class is about to start, Are you gonna go the restroom?" A classmate asked noticing that I was about to cry.

Giving her a small sad smile I answered."Umm. Yeah." Not noticing that I've broken down to tears.

It didn't work put again I guess..., I walked outside closing the door before they bombarded me with questions on why I was crying.

Nothing really worked out well again.

* * *

It was lunch break and Tsugumi was nowhere to be seen, I sat down on the nearby bench and started eating my lunch. I couldn't bring myself to eat inside our classroom so I just ate out here, not after they've seen me cry.

Every bite I took made me sadder. Usually Ichijou would eat with me or Tsugumi...or Ruri and Kosaki. But now I'm all alone.

Once again I was crying..., I felt so alone. So alone just like before.

I quickly wiped my tears off telling myself that it was just for now, re-assuring myself that it would all be well.

Maybe she was just busy that's why I'm alone for now...

I recalled the times I had spent eating alone, those were years. Years of being alone at school, Papa being busy, Mama being busy too. Me being all alone.

And then the tears just won't stop. "Maybe I'm meant to be alone."

"Wahhh How can I make myself believe that I'm gonna be ok? Damn it all, Darn this!"

Fixing my lunch, I cleaned it up and went back to our classroom after I washed my face.

* * *

Our school time passes by quickly, and it's dismissal time now.

Oh Tsugumi's there!

"Tsugumi let's go home together!" I exclaimed happily.

She looked behind and gave me a half smile. "I'm sorry Young miss, I'll be helping at Kosaki-sans shop today!" And then she walked away leaving me all alone again.

Is it just me or is everyone leaving me?

I dropped my bag to the floor, and collapsed after it.

Lying down on the floor, I covered my face with my arm.

I wonder how they're all doing? I bet their happy...

Suddenly I hear voices from the hallway, Quickly I hide myself in the locker inside our classroom where they hide the cleaning items.

I take a peek and see that it was...Kosaki and Ichijou.

They both looked flustered but they were smiling, It made me cringe. I was in fact jealous.

I know it's bad to eavesdrop but..., I just want to know.

"T-Tsugumi-chan is helping at our shop, D-do you want to come and help too?"

The smile Raku had on his face was priceless. He looked like a love-struck fool.

"Of course!" He answered back blushing again.

Damn Raku.

"I saw Chitoge-chan crying this morning in the restroom. Do you think she's alright?"

Raku gave no response as I watched Kosaki wait for him to answer.

"It's alright if you don't sant to talk about it. So Shall we go then?" Kosaki grabbed her bag but then Raku suddenly grabbed her wrist.

"Raku?" She called out as she looked at Raku's hand holding her wrist.

"Can I touch your hand. Just for a little while?" He asked out blushing wildly.

Well that's great, he avoids a topic with me in it but then acts mushy with Kosaki, Fine by me it's not like I care...

I watched her nod shyly as they held hands and left.

Coming out of the cramped locker, I scraped my leg from the side making me cry in pain.

"Argh!" I looked at my left leg with a big wound, blood dripping from it.

This isn't fair! I cried out as I felt the stinging pain from my wound.

I wrapped my hanker chief on it just to stop it a little, and went home limping dvery once in a while.

* * *

I went straight to my room not to spark there attention on my wound.

Treating it, I screamed at the pain.

It took a while after I finished cleaning it.

Lying down on my bed, I thought to myself.

"Did I do anything wrong to deserve this?"

"Young miss are you alright!? We heard you scream." The door flew and the other gangsters came in.

I sat up straight giving them a small sad smile."I'm alright, I just saw a...monster." well that's a great excuse.

"A monster in the miss's room!? How dare that monster! We will track it down and skin it alive!" They ran out and began searching.

It made me smile a little. Just then my phone ringed,It was from mom?

Answering it, my mom spoke to me.

_"Chitoge, there's something I have to tell you. This is very sudden yet very important!, but you need to leave Japan as soon as possible! Inform your father quickly and tell him to call me. There are bad things gonna happen if you don't leave right now, especially you! Pack your bags and call me Asap."_

Just what's happening? Why do I have to leave Japan...

Why is this happening to me? Just what is going on with my life?

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N **

**I'm getting riled up *_* Things are gonna get interesting soon *^* And Chitoge's life would change drastically soon. Please give me your opinions ^_^ Stay strong Chitoge! Btw sorry if my chapters are short xD the future chapters would be better ^_^ I assure you RxR please XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The Choice**

I ran from corridor to corridor despite the pain my wound was giving me. One Objective in mind, To find daddy.

Mom's words kept on replaying on my head, What's gonna happen if I don't leave soon!? Heck not that. Why do I have to leave? What's the reason!?

"Young mi-"

I ignored our subordinate and kept running until I bumped into daddy.

"Papa! There's something very important I have to tell yo-" I was cut off as he immediately spoke.

"I know about it Chitoge, You're mom has already called me. Now I want you to follow me in my office, We've got something very important to talk about." He commanded me as I followed papa to his office.

He then sat on his 'boss' chair looking serious.

"It seems that another gangster group is starting a war with us." He said in a straight-forward way.

"W-war!?" I stuttered only to given an answer that would shut me up.

"They're The 'Snakes' a very strong gangster group that recently has a faction in Japan. Their main objective is to kill our's. This is a very matter, You need to leave Japan-If you don't you're life would be in great danger." He fixed his neck-tie sighing.

"They could target you at any time knowing that you are my daughter. But if you're in America, Where our main base is, It would be much more safer for you since they only want to take our territory here in Japan." He looked at me serious about my safety.

I fidgeted not knowing what to say, Heck what would I do?

"There is only once choice-to leave this country and head to our base where you'll be protected and trained."

I looked away knowing that there was no escape for this. Why is my life like this? Why can't i live peacefully like Kosaki or Ruri?

"You'll leave tomorrow that's final. For now let us handle this until you get stronger." He standed up giving me a pat on my head.

"It's the only right way,Dear." And then he left.

To say goodbye to everyone. That's tough...

I walked towards my room emotionless and thought. "Just how strong is this gang to threaten my safety in staying here?

Once I've reached my room, I packed my stuff and stared at my diary. To say goodbye to Raku...it feels kind of nostalgic in a weird way? Why does it feel so familiar?

I fell to the ground and just exploded as I cried.

"Why does it have to be like this!?" I cried out. And just cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I woke up my eyes hurting, Damn. I should stop crying, this isn't healthy.

Fixing my hair I wear my school uniform and head out.

While walking towards school I think of ways on how to say goodbye atleast to those I'm friend's with...

I started running and then suddenly I was thrown backwards.

" That hurt!" I opened my eyes and saw a startled Raku who had mixed emotions on his face.

"Be-beansprout!" I insulted as I was still lying on the ground.

"Thank goodness you're back to normal." He smiled a little and pulled me up making me blush a little.

"Ye-yeah..." I answered.

"Why did you avoid me the other day?" I asked without thinking. Damn it.

It took him a few seconds before he answered."I thought you needed your space

...so I gave you some 'alone time' after th-that confession."

"You're stupid!" And then I ran away from him.

How dumb was he to do such a thing!? Alone time my ass! I was hurt. I was alone. I was heartbroken. And despite the fact that I'm leaving today, That's the only reason he'll say!?

Just then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to make me stop.

"What's you're problem!? You've been like a total arse nowadays!" He shouted at me just like the way he did last time.

I scowled at him, "It's because you don't get it!" He retorted back."What do I don't get!? What the heck!"

I slapped his face hard."It's all you're fault that I'm hurting like this! I'm in love with you but you act like you aren't aware of it, I already told you before but it's like my confession didn't mean anything to you! I'm going through a lot. A whole damn lot and you just add to it!"

He didn't speak and just walked forward and left me.

And then I ran ahead of him never looking back.

* * *

It was lunch break and Tsugumi was nowhere to be seen. Me and Raku didn't speak to each other the whole perios..., anyways...,I finished my lunch early and began writing letters...letter's of goodbye.

I began thinking about the way I've been acting these past few days. Maybe Raku was right. Maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

And then thought's of how wrong I was started it's reason's of me being wrong.

The way I didn't allow Raku to finish his sentence. The way I began being selfish of way of how negative I thought. The way I tried to convince myself that I was right when in truth I was wrong.

Realization hit me so easily that I was starting to hate myself for the first time.

I guess leaving is the only chance for me to change for the better...

Just then I recieved a call.

Answering it, I heard papa's voice.

"Chitoge, You're flight is this afternoon alright, You'll be fetched on you're dismissal time, I'll see you later on alright." Then he hung up before I could say something.

I continued on writing letters to everybody I considered a friend, Smiling. I told myself that it'll be alright.

* * *

Class ended a few minutes ago and I was currently putting the letters I wrote in their desks.

After I finished I noticed that there were only a few students left. Sigh, I wasn't able to say goodbye to Raku-I even blamed him this morning. Why am I so mean?

As I reached the first floor, I opened my 'shoe-locker' and changed into my other shoes.

Walking out I see Raku leaning on the wall, It looked like he was waiting for me?

"Ch-chitoge!" He called out.

I faced him a little flustered, damn feelings.

"What is it...?" I asked not looking at his face.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, I looked at him shocked. I'm supposed to be the one saying sorry here..., and saying goodbye too.

Then he caught me off-guard as he continued his speech.

"I'm sorry for hurting you and avoiding you! I'm sorry." He apologized again.

I wanted to runaway, I didn't want him to see me break-down.

"I'm sorry too." And with that I ran off a little seeing that the car was there for me, But then he grabbed my wrist.

"Why do you always run away!? What are you so afraid of Chitoge?"

I let the tears flow, just for the last time.

"It's sad." I said my hair swaying, I watched him fidget like he he recalled something.

"Young miss it's almost time for you to leave." A subordinate informed.

I nodded at the subordinate giving him a little smile, he looked shocked because I was crying.

"It's sad that it has to end this way..." He fidgeted again like he was recalling something.

"Ch-chitoge..."

I smiled, I think I should confess genuinely since this may be the last time.

Facing him properly.I locked my eyes to his as my tears flowed, my cheeks reddish, a real smile on my face.

"Zwasse In Love!" He looked suprised and he couldn't answer.

I removed my red ribbon, which be the only remembrance I could give him.

"Take this. So 'just' if I return, You'll remember me." I smiled my tears still falling.

He was shaking now, looking so shocked as he took my treasured red ribbon.

"Chitoge, What are you saying! Why are you giving this to me!? Why are you saying those words? Words that are so nostalgic..."

I smiled for the last time, "Until we meet again,Farewell." I walked away and left and this time he didn't chase me. He just remained there in the spot, trying to understand what thise words meant, looking like he was trying to remember something really important.

Getting inside the car, the door closed and by now I could see him running towards us.

"Please start the car." I commanded, trying to not notice his actions.

"As you wish young miss."

Gazing a little at the window, he was still running this time and looked like he was shouting something, I opened the window a little and heard his voice.

"CHITOGE DON'T GO!" He screamed which made my heart hurt. Closing my eyes I closed the window. The car sped up and left him there standing tears in his eyes, probably the first time I've seen it.

"Goodbye, Raku."

* * *

We reached the airport with me being heavily guarded.

I walked towards my father who looked really sad.

"It's goodbye for now my dear, I'm thinking about sending Tsugumi with you soon, what do you think? Anyways .I'll inform you once it's safe. Update me there alright!" And then he smiled and hugged me.

I hugged papa back."Dad it's alright, Tsugumi should stay here. And please don't send Claude after me." I joked

"I'll miss you so much, well. If that your wish then alright." Papa whispered in a sad tone.

I answered back totally in anguish." I'll miss you too papa! I'll miss all of you!"

And then we seperated.

I watched as the guys-members of the Beehive group cried as I was about to leave.

"I'll explain to Ichijou's father about this matter, So you shouldn't worry.

I nodded and gave them a smile. And so I walked away with a few guards who I didn't know.

Then I rode the plane.

_Goodbye Japan._

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N **

**Well atleast now they've already made up ^_^ This is gonna get more interesting in the future chapters *^* so please look forward :) RxR please, Next chapter will feature Raku's point of view :) Once again. Look forward to it! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Without Her**

Flashback's of yesterday kept on replaying on my mind, Especially the way she said goodbye. I felt sadder every time it replayed...

"Raku, Is there something bothering you?" Yui asked worriedly as she sat beside me.

I scratched my head, "I guess."

She laughed lightly and shook my arm, "Is it about Chitoge-chan?" He guessed looking at me expectantly.

I nod.

"So what about her? What's the problem?"

Crawling towards my bag I bring out the ribbon-her treasured red ribbon.

" That ribbon!" Yui pointed out.

I was shocked curious at what she meant,"What do you mean?"

She smiled sweetly,"Can't you remember? Ten hear's ago you told Chitoge that a red ribbon would look great on her you know like from the book we all read...but now I can't remember it anymore..., Anyways.I was there when you told her that. Never thought that she would take it seriously."

Shockingly I suddenly remembered that, And the book...Still doesn't ring the bell.

So that's why she treasured it so much...,I thought.

"Well setting that aside, Why do you have it?" She asked.

I looked away remembering her goodbye which made me sad.

"She gave this to me because she had to leave..." I answered not really looking forward on saying that.

"Why would she leave!? Did you do something to make her leave?"

"Please I don't want to talk about it now." And then I went outside my room and she didn't follow.

I walked through the halls and saw that the main hall was lighted. Why in such a late hour?

Then I felt somebody grab my wrist, Yui?

"Shh... We shouldn't eavesdrop at them, for them to be talking this way it must he very important.

"But I wa-" I was cut off as she dragged me away.

She shut me up by punching me in the gut once we reached a little farther from them.

"That hurt,Damn it. Fine. "

And so She let go of me and I went straight to my room."Why did you leave Chitoge..." And then I fell to sleep.

* * *

I woke up early as usual to cook _'our_' breakfast.

It took me awhile to cook, but as usual(again)I finished it on time and served it to our family-gang.

"Bocchan~ This is the best!" Then followed by another compliment,"You would make a great boss!" And then I sweatdropped. Are you serious about that?

I ate my breakfast quickly and left home with there 'Good-bye's and Good-luck's'

Wait. Where's Yui-nee?

She must have gone earlier this time without breaking into my room and all.

I walked towards school in silence. Usually Chitoge would run up and insult me early in the morning-In truth. I kind of miss her insults.

"R-raku-kun..., O-ohayo!" Kosaki stuttered as her cheeks flushed in bright pink.

I blushed,"O-ohayo, Kosaki!" But suprisingly. I felt like i was still unsatisfied.

"Should we go to school...to-together?" She asked shyly as she carried her bag with both of her hands.

Blushing back(weirdly)I nodded in approval.

We walked in silence, Not speaking to each other because...you know, We both admitted that we liked-loved each other the other day.

Just then I saw Tsugumi leaning in a wall looking like she had lost somebody important. Wait, Of course. Chitoge!

She noticed us and glared at me.

I was surprised at the flying kick she had thrown at me."Argh!"

"Raku kun!" Kosaki screamed out running towards my side.

"What's wrong Tsugumi!? Why did you kick Raku!?" Kosaki asked determined to get an answer. This was a side I've only seen a few times when she sees me hurt, It took me long enough to realize it.

"Tsugumi?"

Then Tsugumi faced me,Tears in her eyes.

"Young miss-No. Chitoge-chan Left! And it's all because..." Then she stopped talking as if she was about to spill something really important if she continued.

Kosaki-chan pulled me up supporting me and not uttering a word after what she heard about Chitoge.

Tsugumi never looked back and proceeded on going to our classroom, I hadn't notice. But we sure drew a lot of attention.

Ignoring it, Kosaki and I went to our classroom, Upon opening the door everybody had grim faces the aura of the classroom felt heavy, everyone was holding a letter,some girls were crying, Ruri has a sad frown,Shu looked so gloomy. No Everybody looked so gloomy, Wven Marika who often bantered with Chitoge looked sad as well.

"What happened?"

Nobody answered.

I took my seat and Kosaki took her's, And then Yui-sensei came in carrying her bag filled with books.

She looked like everyone inside the classroom except for me and Kosaki.

"I'm sorry to tell you this but Chitoge-chan has left this school, No. She has left Japan for some personal reasons.

Everybody looked down at their own desks sadly.

"So class..., Shall we start our lesson?" Yui-sensei asked trying to lighten everybody's mood.

So she really left, That Gorilla-girl's gone now.

I should be happy now that I could progress better with Kosaki, But just why..., Why do I feel this way? Did I love her?

Then yesterday's memory played again in my mind.

The way she had said those lines felt so nostalgic, At that time I couldn't really comprehend my feelings. I didn't know, but when she rode the car my body just moved on it's own. My mouth spoke on it's own, The way I screamed at her. Telling her to not go. Why?

I looked at the empty desk beside me.

She was gone.

I scratched my head, Damn this. Why am I feeling this way?

* * *

It was once again dismissal time.

Nobody really tried to be happy today, Everybody was still overcome with sadness.

So she really affected the whole class, I guess I'm not surprised. Chitoge was really special.

Tsugumi didn't speak to me, Kosaki and Ruri went home early saying goodbye to me nefore they left, Marika didn't cling to me like she always did though she smiled at me when she left but then it turned into a frown once she got out of the door. Heck even the aloof and happy-go-lucky Shuu didn't act that way today.

I can't understand this! I should be happy...

The wind blew hard and a piece of paper flew from my desk. "What's this?"

I picked it up curious at what it is. Upon closer look it was a letter.

Opening it I was shocked to see that it was from Chitoge. It had stains or marks or something...could it be tears?

No way, Gorilla-girl crying? She rarely does that...when she's afraid.

_"...Stupid Beansprout! I hate you so much! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"_

I paused for a moment taking in what she just wrote. She hates me?, I laughed a little but then I saw the next sentences.

"But, I'm sorry but i hate you so much for making me feel this way! You stupid beansprout! Stop being so kind to me! Stop caring for me! Just stop..., If you don't. I'll just fall in love with you more and more..."

Wh-what!? This isn't like her at all.

I read more.

_"You're clumsy, You're short, You're like a girl! You're...You're the guy who saves me when I cry just like in my diary. I admit, I hated you so much when you dared to insult me. I hated you...but it was only for awhile because despite you're bad points. You were always there. You showed me so much of you're good points too...and then when you saved me from the forest I knew that I began on liking you. And after I found out that I had a key I was so happy because... I just thought that I may have a chance with you, That...that you might be the boy who was my first love! And so I secretly hid my feelings for you. And days and month's passed by and it only grew stronger. And the day we played as Romeo and Juliet. That was the day. The day that I realized that I was in love with you, for real. I wanted to believe that I was the promised girl...but then Yui-sensei came and then I found out that I may not stand a chance at all. And then when I finally got the guts to tell you...I didn't let you finish. I'm sorry if I left that day. And then the following day I ignored you, and then I also found out that you were already in love with Kosaki-chan. I cried and cried and started hating myself for not being good enough. And so the following day I tried to be strong enough to forget all about my for you. But then that day you ignored me. And I felt alone. That day I just thought. 'Maybe I was born to be alone...' And-and..."_

I stopped, not noticing that I was already crying...since when?

I continued reading her letter with my guilt of ignoring her that day.

_"And-and...I just knew that you hated me I felt like there was a huge wall separating me from you. I cried again and again, Thinking that we may have been living in different worlds as well. The following day you spoke to me and I felt so relieved, but then I started screaming at you forgetting the fact that I was the one wrong. And so our class went on and at lunch I was alone again. This is the time I was writing this letter to everybody and to you, Damn you Stupid Beansprout! I'm even crying right now! And it just won't stop!...,I just hope that I get enough time to say goodbye to you later..."_

I gritted my teeth wiping the tears that had kept on falling. "Damn this!" And I was so shocked that there was no more at the piece of paper, frantically I flipped it and saw her last message for me.

_"If I don't get to say this later then I'm saying it now for the last time. Raku I'm sorry for hurting you, for hating you, and for realizing my feelings so late. Raku even though I'm out of character now and you're probably laughing you're ass off."_

I laughed at that part and then It disappeared so quickly.

_"Ichijou Raku, Zwasse In Love! I hope you find you're promised girl! And please take care of everybody for me. Raku who I insulted,the guy who I frequently hurt, But nonetheless. The guy I fell in love ." And then it was over._

I flipped the pages again only to see that it was the last of it.

Falling to the ground I screamed in anger.

I hate myself. I even questioned myself on why was feeling this way, but deep inside. I knew...I knew that I really cared about her but I covered that with Kosaki's love for me and my love for her fearing that I'd lose Onodera.

"Chitoge...I'm sorry."

I hugged the piece of paper crying as I missed her. "Why did I only realize it now!?"

Pausing. I wiped my tears.

_Why did I only realize now that I loved her._

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N**

**TT_TT Aww man I'm starting to hate myself as well. I'm so sorry Raku and Chitoge! I'll make it up to you in the future chapters! Anyways..., Please RxR and give me your opinions! I'd make the story more interesting, oh by the way, I do not own Nisekoi, my drawing skills...umm's not in that level yet ya know but I can really draw! *^* xD anyways. Please look forward at the next chapter ^_^ Ja-Ne!**


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